Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Farewell "Crikey" Dude

Steve Irwin was an idiot. No one but a certified moron would jump into a murky body of water to climb onto the back of 15 foot crocodile and try to wrestle it into a muzzle so that he could play with it in front of a television camera. I saw him once grab a ten-foot-long king cobra in the most dangerous manner imaginable (which is anywhere other than right behind the head) and then tell his audience how incredibly deadly its venom was while dancing around the road to avoid being bitten by the serpent. After catching this little spectacle on television, I wondered how could keep from drooling all over himself with so little cranial capacity.

Basically, The Crocodile Hunter made a career out of molesting the more lethal members of the animal kingdom for little more than the sheer fun of it, and had the luck that some television producer saw the entertainment value in what he did, allowing him a significant measure of fame and fortune. In my opinion, that makes him an idiot…….and a kindred spirit.

I would have loved to have made a career out of doing what he did. Unfortunately, if I find myself waist deep in murky water with a fifteen foot crocodile, my bladder and bowels would be making it far murkier. Personally, I think watching some average Joe leave a giant streak mark across the Amazon basin after coming face-to-face with a giant reptile while hysterically clawing his way back to the Rio bar district would make great television, but I bet the FCC has a far different sense of humor than I.

Even though I did not watch The Crocodile Hunter often, I think that the world is a far poorer place without him and that opinion has nothing to do with what he has done to further the cause of conservation. It has to do with the enthusiasm with which he approached his work. Steve Irwin was obviously giddily passionate about what he did and I think as a result of this, wildly succeeded at it. He was a man who loved nature and the outdoors and by little more than pursuing his interests with abandon, he managed to educate people across the entire world about the things that he cared about. He lived his life endlessly pursuing his pleasures, and ended it the same way. There are very few people that could make that same claim.

Though I would have liked to have seen Steve Irwin around much, much longer I am quite relieved that he died in the manner that he did. He was an animal enthusiast without parallel and being killed by one of the creatures he adored kind of puts him on a pedestal that is unattainable by those following in his footsteps. This is a dignity he probably would not have been afforded had he expired on the toilet from a brain aneurism like Elvis Presley did.

In other news, I would like to try to prevent any awkward silences to those readers of The JEP Report that I occasionally talk to in person by telling them here that congratulations are no longer necessary on the fourth JEP baby. We lost it a couple of days after I posted here that we were having it. Everyone’s OK here about it now, so there’s no need to offer any condolences or anything like that either. I was going to post something sooner, but it’s something you really just do not know how to talk about.

Anyway, for those of you still checking in, I hope you all had a great summer! Once again, sorry for the sporadic (at best) posting but things have just been insane around here. I hope I do better than once a month in the future, but to be honest I’m running at a tempo that barely allows me to read, let alone write. I thank you guys for occasionally checking in here still though!


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