Tuesday, April 25, 2006

An Ode to Cyn McKinney

Here's a little ditty about the politician I just love to hate these days, Cynthia McKinney. I've been suffering a huge case of writer's block (as well as time defecit) of late and figured I need to post something soon.

When the devil went down to Georgia,
He was looking for a soul to catch,
But while seeking this, things went amiss,
And he nearly met his match.

It was Cynthia McKinney,
He ran into by some chance.
And on seeing her he gagged and choked,
And nearly wet his pants.

Her hair sprang far out from her head,
Like an angry clownish fool,
Who’d been punked and dunked then finally flunked,
From electrician school.

Her eyes shown bright and evil
With great malice they were dancin’
Possessed with animosity,
Like those of Charlie Manson.

Her mouth was always open,
Quiet only for to eat,
Or when she needed somewhere wet and warm,
To stick her putrid feet.

Her words were filled with vitriol,
A propaganda feast,
Her breath was rank and often stank,
Of rancid wildebeest.
Then Satan felt some pity,
For this creature and her pains,
Forced to walk the earth disfigured,
And devoid of any brains.
So he took a step right towards her,
Just to give a pity hug,
But before he’d moved four inches,
She had punched him in the mug.
He got beaten ‘bove his shoulders,
In the chest and on both butts,
She cracked his teeth then stomped his feet,
And kicked him in the nuts.
Immobile and quite paralyzed,
The devil could not scat,
He screamed, “Sister stop your beating!”
“I’m a freakin’ Democrat!”
With that McKinney up and froze,
Bells in her head then rung,
She then leaned down,
kissed Satan’s crown,
And tried to slip him tongue.
This far worse than any beating,
Satan jumped right up and fled,
Back home to retch and gargle,
With the blood of rotting dead.

3 Comments:

Blogger Solo said...

Good god man! That's the funniest thing I've read all week!

Unfortunately I've got to deal with her in my backyard and on the freakin' news every night here in Atlanta...

Glad to have ya back!

7:28 AM  
Blogger jude said...

nice to see you posting again, even though i didn't understand much.

would you hop on a plane and have mexican with me? friday night and i'm starving and abandoned

11:12 PM  
Blogger JEP said...

I'd love to Jude, but I think I got a long night ahead of me!

12:01 AM  

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