Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Once Monthly Column

Aaaaahhhhh, The JEP Report is languishing once again. It's been a month since my last update, and about a month since I've had time to write anything. So, what has happened in the last 32 days? Well, I've worked a hell of a lot. I've drank a hell of a little. I've chased kids and tried unsuccessfully to grow grass (I have managed to grow clover, dandelions and other weeds with spectacular success however). At the moment, I am also planning my bi-annual salmon fishing trip below is a picture of us who went in 2004, just before I created The JEP Report (I'm the one who got skunked):

So, what else has happened? Well, my wife informed me last week that I am about to become a father again for the fourth time! I have GOT to figure out where these things are coming from. A buddy of mine said I could find out rather easily on the internet how babies are made and after tons of research, I have deduced that the act of procreating has something to do with a couple of midgets, stilletto heels, bad music and livestock. Will keep you posted on my wife's growing psychosis over the next eight months.


Blogger Sacto Ritch said...

HOLY CATS JIM!! Another one!? Congrats! You are one potent, sex having machine! I didn't even know you were Cathoilc! Way to go buddy. I guess we'll have to put off our European takeover a few more years.
It's been awhile since I've posted too. Been busy with dirty diapers, working, not sleeping and a perpetual motion machine we call Jackson.
By the way, feel free to post pics of Lanie. We're pretty proud of her. She eats, sleeps and poops with the best of 'em.
well here's a hearty howdy to all your readers who still check in, and here's to hopes you find more time to post between skunk hangings and procreating.

5:08 PM  
Blogger Sacto Ritch said...

All right Vato! It's time to give your loyal reader(s) a new posting. It's officially a new month now.
So how's pregnancy #4 going? Is it old hat now? What do the old one'd think? Are you still among us?
I guess I could just call or send you an e-mail but this is so much more fun to put it where the whole world could see it.


12:32 PM  
Anonymous Mother Mayhem said...

Jim, Jim, Jim...... Well I'm glad to see the concerns raised by your excursion into cooking were unfounded. And while your month long absence was cause for some alarm, it is all easily explained now. At least you know some things are still functioning after the mentos incident.

Congratulations!! I guess you can say we're tied, but I'll let you break it. Watch out for the hormone swings. All I can recommend is to keep all the sharp objects safely hidden for the next couple of years and you and the dog will be fine.

By the way, incase the thought ever does cross your tequila numbed mind some evening for #5, just remember that you won't be able to count on your Social Security check to help make college tuition payments. If that doesn't kill the mood then get a tread mill!!

7:42 PM  

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