Once Monthly Column
Aaaaahhhhh, The JEP Report is languishing once again. It's been a month since my last update, and about a month since I've had time to write anything. So, what has happened in the last 32 days? Well, I've worked a hell of a lot. I've drank a hell of a little. I've chased kids and tried unsuccessfully to grow grass (I have managed to grow clover, dandelions and other weeds with spectacular success however). At the moment, I am also planning my bi-annual salmon fishing trip below is a picture of us who went in 2004, just before I created The JEP Report (I'm the one who got skunked):
So, what else has happened? Well, my wife informed me last week that I am about to become a father again for the fourth time! I have GOT to figure out where these things are coming from. A buddy of mine said I could find out rather easily on the internet how babies are made and after tons of research, I have deduced that the act of procreating has something to do with a couple of midgets, stilletto heels, bad music and livestock. Will keep you posted on my wife's growing psychosis over the next eight months.
posted by JEP at 9:58 PM
1 Comments:
Jim, Jim, Jim...... Well I'm glad to see the concerns raised by your excursion into cooking were unfounded. And while your month long absence was cause for some alarm, it is all easily explained now. At least you know some things are still functioning after the mentos incident.
Congratulations!! I guess you can say we're tied, but I'll let you break it. Watch out for the hormone swings. All I can recommend is to keep all the sharp objects safely hidden for the next couple of years and you and the dog will be fine.
By the way, incase the thought ever does cross your tequila numbed mind some evening for #5, just remember that you won't be able to count on your Social Security check to help make college tuition payments. If that doesn't kill the mood then get a tread mill!!
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