For Patti

To The JEP Report's newest reader who, in addition to being Canadian, is an avid (though tragically misguided) football fan:

My wife took all four kids shopping a few days ago and, as is certain to happen when you have a litter that large, she lost one. Now, I would have put money on the missing people larvae to be one of the boys but as luck would have it, it turned out to be my oldest daughter. After a short spell of looking through the aisles, my wife found her, rather distraught by a rack of little girl cheerleading uniforms. Apparently, Wal Mart had arranged the outfits so that the Michigan State ones were in the front, covering up the University of Michigan outfits that were hidden on the back of the rack. My daughter was desperately trying to undo the injustice and near tears in the process, not only at the gross incompetence of the employee that arranged the outfits, but also at the fact that she knew she would be in trouble for escaping my wife's clutches in a crowded store. Still, she took her punishment with pride, knowing full well that her action had performed a greater good for the rest of humanity.

My daughter is by far the biggest football fanatic I know. Either that or else she has developed a rather early manifestation of Obssesive Compulsive Disorder.

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