Thursday, February 08, 2007

This Day In History

Historically, February 8th has been a day of calamity. In 1587, Mary Queen of Scots was beheaded in England. In 1693, the College of William and Mary was established in Williamsburg Virginia, paving the way for future toga parties all across the United States. In 1904, the Japanese launched a surprise attack against the Russian Fleet in northern China, sparking the Russo-Japanese War. In 1915, D.W. Griffith’s cinematic ode to the Ku Klux Klan “The Birth of a Nation” premiered in Los Angeles. In 1924, gangster Gee Jon became the first person to be executed in a gas chamber in Carson City Nevada. Oh, and Anna Nichole Smith died. I’m speculating drug overdose but I guess we can wait until the body cools down enough for an autopsy before providing a final ruling.

February 8th also marks the birth of several notable hellraisers. Actor Nick Nolte was born on this day and would later make a name for himself playing disheveled anti-heroes in the 1980s. Nolte could likely be named as the most un-photogenic actor to find success in Hollywood based on several infamous police photographs. William Tecumseh Sherman was also born on February 8th and he is best known for reducing the southern United States to ashes during the Civil War. James Dean was also born on this day and is best known for starting the Tinseltown fad of celebrities killing themselves in car wrecks. Different Strokes’ actor Gary Coleman was also born on the eighth of February and would later build a career out of exclaiming, “Whachoo talkin’ ‘bout Willis?” He is now the shortest security guard in California.

And then of course I was born on February 8th, the same day that the Boy Scouts was founded. This mildly amuses me since the Boy Scouts is where I picked up most of my vices. I woke up this morning bummed that I have survived yet another year without suffering a mid-life crisis, which is kind of a shame considering I’ve been looking forward to quitting my job, moving to a hippie commune in Brazil, buying a sports car and getting a new girlfriend. Nope, this morning I woke up still very happily married with 3.5 awesome kids who tried to get me to go to work in my birthday suit, a job that still pays the bills fairly adequately and basically satisfied with my present lot in life. I would trade my beat up Pontiac Vibe for a Porsche convertible in a New York second though.

Oh well, maybe my mid-life crisis will hit me next year.


Blogger Caretaker Matt said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:27 PM  
Blogger Caretaker Matt said...

Jim Jim Jim, Happy Friggin Birthday sir. I'm sorry that I missed it. Some pseudo-brother I am. Oh well, as I've long stated, mom always liked you better anyway. Maybe it's because your birthday is only 2 days after hers.

As for your mid life crisis, well sir, I say forget the Porche, get a motorcycle. That way, this summer you can relive your "youth" riding down the road w/ me. Just think, the freedom of the road, it's much less expensive than a Porche, and if we make it down to Ohio, you can take off your lid and let the wind rush through your, wait a second. Sorry sir. Ok, with the helmet on, nobody will ever know about the upper cranial shine that you have going on. Give it a thought there sir. Heck, if ya like, I can even tell everyone that your name is Maverick, just don't call me Goose or Ice Man ok

10:29 PM  
Blogger Sacto Ritch said...

Yeah, Happy belated amigo. Sorry about missing your B-day. If your life has turned out like mine it's probably the only day of the year that is SOMEWHAT about you. I hope your family gave you the one thing you never get (apparently sex isn't one of them since you have procreated more than a queen bee) a little peace and quiet.
I think that you and Matt should hop on your bad motor scooters and ride out to NoCal. Imagine the mayhem we subject the world to. Reunited, we could sleep 'til 9:00 a.m. have a nice breakfast and nap til 3:00p.m. go out and get a nice little buzz and be home to catch the 9:00p.m. Sports Center before bed at 10:00 p.m.
Ahhh just like the good ol' days sans Matt earning his moniker of "caretaker". Oh yeah, and not as much drinking, drugs or waking up with warthogs who's name escapes us.
I hope it wa a good one my friend.


11:15 PM  
Anonymous Mother Mayhem said...

Happy belated Jimmy boy! If I had known I would have baked a cake, or at least some brownies that you used to like so much. Actually, I found the perfect gift on this web site: It's a little out of season, but a classic none the less. Fragile-must be Italian right?? That should put the fear of God in your neighbors in the 'burbs when you put that in the living room window. BTW the guy that makes them is another ex-Navy puke like yourself, except he was in Intelligence. Is that an oxymoron?

But really, what would you do with a Porsche? There's no room for the car seats, diaper bags, or melted ice cream and the misses would get pissed if there was no room for her because of the obligatory trophy blond in the passenger seat. I believe they are standard equipment based on my in depth highway studies.

Now what you really should be upgrading to is a mini-van. There's plenty of room for everything except the trophy blond, which, after you get done hauling all the crap in and out of the van everyday, you'd never have enough time, energy, or finances to support, so your family is really saving you from a life of pure exhaustion. Something to think of as you drop into an exhausted sleep tonight.

I hope it was a good one!


12:37 AM  

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