Random Thoughts (A Post Just to Post)

Last week I got hit with a quality issue at work. For five straight days, I worked from 6:00am to 10:00pm, got gratuitous gobs of juicy booty gnawed off of my backside, practically ripped the skin off of my hands sorting thousands of parts and nearly killed myself twice trying to figure out how to drive 80 miles home and catch up on some desperately needed sleep at the same time. Help finally arrived last Friday in the guise of a nineteen-year-old kid we hired to help with the sorting. Upon introducing myself to him as the engineer in charge of the products he was tasked with sorting, he looked at me in awe and said, “Engineer? That must be an awesome job!” Apparently, some people’s jobs are so bad that they think I am living the dream. He was a nice kid and an incredibly hard worker, but if he thinks getting yelled at for ten hours a day while sitting behind a computer screen trying to do weird mathematical things to brutally boring pieces of data is glamour work, I suspect that he must be taste testing monkey feces as a side job.

So, what else has happened around here? Let’s see:

Sports

The Lions have knocked quarterback Joey Harrington out of his starting position with the Detroit Lions and replaced him with Jeff Garcia. The results since have been somewhat less than spectacular. The Lions have scored 13 points in both games that Garcia has played in, which was enough to beat the first mediocre team they went up against, but not against the other mediocre team. They play a dismal team next week, a team that has won only one game all season, and they are favored to win by 1.5 points. My gut tells me though that they will lose by 3 and embark upon a biblical quest to capture last place.

On the hockey front, the Detroit Red Wings are the mirror image of the Lions, unable to do anything wrong. Last night I watched my first hockey game of the season from start to finish and loved every minute of it. They looked better than Marilyn Monroe in a Victoria’s Secret cheerleading outfit (when she was alive, not now).

Halloween

I took the kids out this year with a buddy of mine and was astounded by the number of teenaged girls out trick-or-treating in skimpy nursing uniforms. Being a person who is inexplicably prone to an overabundance of energy and a spectacular lack of judgment when drinking heavily, I have been in many hospitals. I have never been attended to by nurses that dressed like that. That’s probably a good thing though since I doubt my insurance covers multiple trips to the emergency room for recreational purposes. The only time I ever saw nurses dressed like that were on the covers of those movies rented in windowless stores that check your ID before letting you enter. Personally, I was appalled. Teenaged girls were just not built like that when I was in high school. “That’s not true…” a guy sitting next to me at Sharkey’s Bar commented after the Halloween festivities had subsided. “The styles were just different when we were in school. Remember? The girls all wore baggy, loose fitting clothes with Day-Glo colored sweatshirts all the time.” After uttering this statement, he downed his drink and slammed the glass down on the bar. “WE WERE FUCKING ROBBED! ROBBED< GODDAMMIT!” He then turned around on the bar stool, took a long hard look at a young lady bent over the pool table in a very tight, form-fitting Bat Girl costume, and stormed out of the pub. My guess is that he went home to beat hi binky like it had just insulted his mother.

Well, that’s pretty much it. I’m hoping things quiet down a little around here soon. I need to get back to writing Acid Pulaski.