Sunday, October 16, 2005

Lions Game Recap (From My Point of View Anyway)

So anyway, I’m watching the Detroit Lions lose (as usual). As the offense botches things up right before half-time, I threw a can of Chunky Beef and Potato soup on the stove for lunch and then stepped outside for a cigarette because I was just unable to stand the horror any longer. As I was nearly done with it, wondering how things could get any worse, it dawned on me that today is my anniversary. I dropped my cigarette, jumped in the car and rushed off to Meijer to pick up a card and something in the $50 price range. I found a card, and then found a cordless phone. Not thinking the phone was romantic enough, I decided to get some flowers too. As I was on my way to the florist however, I remembered I had soup cooking on the stove. I raced back to the house and found the smoke alarm screaming, the dog completely melting down and my soup reduced to a thick carbon residue that will probably not be able to be removed from the pan.

I then aired out the house, ran to the florist, had a good 90 minutes of foolish hope that the Lions might actually manage to pull a win out of the game (a hope that was savagely crushed after the two minute warning) while getting progressively drunker as I fielded call after call from my wife at work trying to figure out what I got her. Then, as I was halfway through typing this, I remembered the flowers were still wilting in the car. I then raced around the house trying to unsuccessfully find a vase before finally spreading the flowers out among a few beer bottles I had lying around from last night. Now I have to get the house clean before the wife and kids get home so it looks like I’ve actually done something.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Fade_to_Blah said...

hehe ok excuse the question here. Im not married so maybe im a bit in left field with this. A cordless phone for an anniversery gift? heheheh

9:43 AM  
Blogger JEP said...

Hey, there's only so many shopping minutes in a typical halftime break.

I might also add that next year it will probably be in my best interests to put a little more thought into it.

8:46 PM  
Blogger Sacto Ritch said...

So let me get this straight. You did all this stuff AND decided to post?

SactoR

1:28 AM  
Blogger JEP said...

Ritch, in my business, it pays to be able to multitask with a certain amount of effeciency.

6:05 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

The JEP Report Store Reader Sites
  • Inflammable Hamster
  • Right Michigan
  • Great Writing