Lions Game Recap (From My Point of View Anyway)

So anyway, I’m watching the Detroit Lions lose (as usual). As the offense botches things up right before half-time, I threw a can of Chunky Beef and Potato soup on the stove for lunch and then stepped outside for a cigarette because I was just unable to stand the horror any longer. As I was nearly done with it, wondering how things could get any worse, it dawned on me that today is my anniversary. I dropped my cigarette, jumped in the car and rushed off to Meijer to pick up a card and something in the $50 price range. I found a card, and then found a cordless phone. Not thinking the phone was romantic enough, I decided to get some flowers too. As I was on my way to the florist however, I remembered I had soup cooking on the stove. I raced back to the house and found the smoke alarm screaming, the dog completely melting down and my soup reduced to a thick carbon residue that will probably not be able to be removed from the pan.

I then aired out the house, ran to the florist, had a good 90 minutes of foolish hope that the Lions might actually manage to pull a win out of the game (a hope that was savagely crushed after the two minute warning) while getting progressively drunker as I fielded call after call from my wife at work trying to figure out what I got her. Then, as I was halfway through typing this, I remembered the flowers were still wilting in the car. I then raced around the house trying to unsuccessfully find a vase before finally spreading the flowers out among a few beer bottles I had lying around from last night. Now I have to get the house clean before the wife and kids get home so it looks like I’ve actually done something.