Valentine's Day Poem

My apologies for neglecting my blog, the past couple of weeks. Please find below a token of my appreciation to my three loyoal readers, a poem in honor of Valentine's Day:

As you stood in the kitchen this Valentine’s Day,
A stir in my loins signaled the beginning of play,
I ripped off my old Dockers, pushed past the house plants,
And unleashed a pink monster from the depths of my pants,
I leapt o’er the counter and aimed for your back,
But tore open my scrotum clearing the cedar spice rack,
With a great deal of commotion I fell to the floor,
And in unbearable agony, loosed a deafening roar,
With a look of sheer puzzlement you watched as I fell,
And then landed atop me like a crack whore from hell,
As loud as a banshee, you loosed amorous calls,
While your nails wreaked havoc on the cooking room walls,
Without caution or modesty, we loved without care,
Until our bodily fluids were tossed through the air,
When it was finally over, we lay still, out of breath,
While our hearts raced as if we had just cheated death,
You then said that our love was like the obelisks of Giza,
But I did not really hear you, I was dreaming of pizza
I learned a deep lesson from this Valentine spectacle,
Be warned that torn scrotums spawn free-flying testicles.