Pudgy Peter’s Porky Posterior Preemptively Pulled

First, Janet Jackson introduces the phrase “wardrobe malfunction” to the American public (while simultaneously introducing this writer to the miracle of TiVo’s instant replay feature) and then the next thing you know, the Fox television network is scrambling to remove any reference to animated anterior anatomy on their cartoon series, “The Family Guy”. Now c’mon people, how offensive could the overt display of a cartoon can-crack possibly be? Worse than the broadcast of Dennis Franz’s full fanny on NYPD Blue? I think not. Worse than the more entertaining passages in the Starr Report? I doubt it. Worse than watching Lisa Marie Presley’s surreal spit-swapping soiree with Janet’s surgically savaged sibling on MTV? No friggin’ way. We’re talking Peter Griffin here! He’s a cartoon character! It’s not like they were filling broadcast bandwidth with horrific close-ups of John Madden’s raging ‘roids for crying out loud! I think it is high time that the FCC, as well as some of the more anal retentive demographics of the American populace, turn off the Trinity Broadcasting Network, have a couple of drinks, organize an impromptu office tournament of strip twister, tell a couple of politically insensitive jokes and rediscover the happiness and inner sense of well-being that only an off-color sense of humor can bring.