Tuesday, January 18, 2005

And People Wonder Where Conservatism Can Get A Bad Name……

Georgia, an apparent anti-pillar of philosophical thought that exemplifies what generations of in-breeding and grain alcohol abuse can do to the intellectual capabilities of a semi-rural population, was ordered to stop putting disclaimer stickers on its science textbooks warning students that they were in grave danger of suddenly learning the soul-corrupting theory of evolution. The disclaimers, with wording eerily similar to the terminology used on packs of cigarettes, alcoholic beverages and pornographic websites (which this writer, a virtual vanguard of vice, can personally attest to) was printed upon stickers that were subsequently placed upon the reading materials. U.S. District Judge Clarence Cooper ruled that the stickers represented a violation of the constitutionally mandated separation of church and state. The ruling, under which Georgia schools would be permitted to unimpededly teach a scientifically sound lesson to children whose parents would like them to be equipped to enter the workforce of the 21st Century, still allows slightly less evolved Georgians to tutor their carnie-larvae in scientific theory created when the punishment for adultery was to get stoned in the marketplace (a concept that, in today’s lexicon, actually sounds like a whole lot of fun).

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