A CVS Prank Gone Awry
Another anecdote remembered after a conversation started on ZUG:
One time I took a photo negative of my daughter in her christening gown to get made into prints to the local CVS. When the clerk took the negative she held it up to the light to see what the picture was and, unable to really make it out, asked me if it was a picture of our dog. I pretended to be really offended and started chastising her, saying that just because my daughter has a cleft lip (she doesn’t), she did not deserve to be called a dog. The expression on the clerk’s face was hilarious but I had to hold in my laughter while I verbally bludgeoned her, causing my eyes to water and my voice to quaver which made me look like I was on the verge of crying. When I saw that it looked like the clerk was on the verge of crying too, I figured I had gone too far and told her I was only kidding.
The clerk then got really upset and started yelling at me, telling me that she had a niece with a cleft lip and that it was no laughing matter whatsoever. She told me about the painful medical procedures she had to go through, the teasing at school she had to endure and, after a few minutes of being pummeled by her vindictive oral abuse, I was reduced to blubbering my profuse apologies while holding back my own tears.
Then that buck-toothed, bug-eyed, beer-bellied bondage bitch told me that she was only kidding too.