Monday, December 13, 2004

Democrats gather in Lake Buena Vista FL to Choose New Leader

Disneyworld has long been known as the one of the most prolific fairy tale factories the world has ever known and last Saturday, Disney’s spiritual hometown of Lake Buena Vista, Florida played host to another gathering of aspiring dream-weavers: The Democratic Party: The goal of this group was to dream up a new DNC chairman; someone who will have the intelligence, charisma and perceived moral values to enable him to break out of the “blue state” coastal enclaves and into the hearts and minds of “red-state” America. Walt Disney himself, with his own overactive imagination, a belly full of booze and a head full of hardcore hallucinogens, would have been hard pressed to create such a character out of the DNC’s current list of candidates.

Take former Vermont Governor Howard Dean. Imitating the infamous “scream” speech that allegedly torpedoed his failed run for the 2004 Democratic presidential nomination, he roared, “WE WON IN ALABAMA, WE WON IN GEORGIA! WE WON IN IDAHO, WE WON IN SOUTH CAROLINA!” Obviously somewhat less than entirely lucid, my guess is that he then ripped off all of his clothes in a fit of apoplectic fury fueled by copious amounts of Everclear and then went after centrist Simon Rosenberg with a contraband pool stick.

To view a picture of 2008 presidential candidate wannabee Sen. Clinton enthusiastically endorsing the 2005 Janet Reno Swimsuit Calendar, go to:


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