Monday, December 19, 2005

No Riots?!?!?!

Well, there were no riots in Detroit last night following yet another devastating loss by the Lions and numerous protests. That's great for the city of Detroit, but kind of tough on those of us trying to build a career out of making fun of it. Anyway, since I have no tales of chaos and destruction, here's a little ditty about the "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays" debate (Just couldn't come up with another verse of fecal themed prose) :
War was waged on Christmas by blasphemous pagan ways,
That sacked the malls with savage calls of "HAPPY HOLIDAYS!"
Some Christians stared in horror at first silent from their fear,
Dumbfounded that they'd been attacked by tidings of good cheer.
They then rushed to all the churches, hit the fields and the farms,
Summoned all the frenzied faithful with a Christian call to arms.
They then marched across the country, to both oceans, north and back,
Sworn to smite all unbelievers with their furious attack.
They then marched to southern Florida to slay the mean Hebrew,
Killing in the name of Jesus, their beloved revered Jew.
Then they turned their ire on Dearborn to enslave the Muslim hordes,
And defeated holy warriors armed with green exploding Fords.
When their battle finally ended, when their quest was finally through,
When they'd killed the unbelievers (plus a Catholic or two),
They kneeled and blessed their fiery mess and then they cracked a smile,
Wished good will towards men and peace on earth....Southern Baptist style.

1 Comments:

Anonymous LoB said...

I am horribly offended and appalled that you wished me a Merry Christmas in your last comment directed at me. This is an unforgivable transgression. I shall now proceed to sue you out of all your money for greeting me and cheering me up. You vile, vile man. Ah, what the hell.. I can't keep up the act. Season's greetings, happy holidays, merry Christmas, cheerful Hannukah and happy Kwanzaa to you, great writer. This whole holiday controversy is completely ridiculous

5:02 PM  

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