No Riots?!?!?!

Well, there were no riots in Detroit last night following yet another devastating loss by the Lions and numerous protests. That's great for the city of Detroit, but kind of tough on those of us trying to build a career out of making fun of it. Anyway, since I have no tales of chaos and destruction, here's a little ditty about the "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays" debate (Just couldn't come up with another verse of fecal themed prose) :

War was waged on Christmas by blasphemous pagan ways,

That sacked the malls with savage calls of "HAPPY HOLIDAYS!"

Some Christians stared in horror at first silent from their fear,

Dumbfounded that they'd been attacked by tidings of good cheer.

They then rushed to all the churches, hit the fields and the farms,

Summoned all the frenzied faithful with a Christian call to arms.

They then marched across the country, to both oceans, north and back,

Sworn to smite all unbelievers with their furious attack.

They then marched to southern Florida to slay the mean Hebrew,

Killing in the name of Jesus, their beloved revered Jew.

Then they turned their ire on Dearborn to enslave the Muslim hordes,

And defeated holy warriors armed with green exploding Fords.

When their battle finally ended, when their quest was finally through,

When they'd killed the unbelievers (plus a Catholic or two),

They kneeled and blessed their fiery mess and then they cracked a smile,

Wished good will towards men and peace on earth....Southern Baptist style.