Friday, December 09, 2005

Acid Pulaski Soundtrack #1

As part of the novel I am working on, I needed to come up with a reportoire of songs for a punk rock polka band. What follows is the first, titled "Midget Mona Lisa". Feedback helps. Its sung to the tune of some polka number I heard in Northern Michigan over the Thanksgiving holiday (like that helps you any):
I woke up one Sunday morning,
Must be fifteen years ago,
A vixen lay beside me,
In the moonlight’s basking glow.
Manic thoughts ran through my head,
As were questions I should ask,
Like why she wore a leather negligee,
And a Richard Nixon mask.

She’s a pygmy punk pornographer,
A nympho short in height!
She makes love with two photographers,
Most every single night!
She does things with total strangers that,
Most folks would think quite queer,
She gets kicks by snorting Rophynol
And Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer!

Now my midget Mata Hari.
Don’t stand more than three feet tall,
She sports a purple Mohawk,
And is really quite the ball,
Sometimes it doesn’t feel right,
Being with this pudgy elf,
But it sure as hell beats staying home,
And playing with myself.

She’s a pygmy punk pornographer,
A nympho short in height!
She makes love with two photographers,
Most every single night!
She does things with total strangers that,
Most folks would think quite queer,
She gets kicks by snorting Rophynol
And Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer!

Now my family has disowned me,
And my church has barred its doors.
For frolicking in public,
With my pug-faced pint-sized whore.
They shower me with ridicule,
And insults without ends,
But I’ll never give up screwing her,
Or all her dwarven friends.

She’s a pygmy punk pornographer,
A nympho short in height!
She makes love with two photographers,
Most every single night!
She does things with total strangers that,
Most folks would think quite queer,
She gets kicks by snorting Rophynol
And Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer!
***Break for accordian solo***

Now things were going really good,
She really turned me on,
Till one time at the shopping mall,
When we did it in the john.
I lost my grip and dropped her down,
Into a dirty loo,
Then I sadly hit the handle,
And flushed her halfway to Peru.

She’s a pygmy punk pornographer,
A nympho short in height!
She makes love with two photographers,
Most every single night!
She does things with total strangers that,
Most folks would think quite queer,
She gets kicks by snorting Rophynol
And Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer!
Feedback is always appreciated.

1 Comments:

Blogger Sacto Ritch said...

Pure genius my friend. It's quite a shame you don't play an instrument. Actually, it's probably a blessing.

SactoRitch

8:33 PM  

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