Sunday, December 18, 2005

D-Day in Detroit

Well, today is the day. The Lions take the field against the Cincinnati Bengals, a home game in which the seats promise to be filled with the colors of the opposition and with demonstrations planned outside of the stadium calling for the firing of Lions general manager Matt Millen in a display of fan hostility unprecedented in NFL sports. It promises to be an interesting day in Detroit football.

The game itself is barely a blip on the radar screen. The Bengals are going to win. They have a winning 10-3 record, the adulation of their fans and, though playing 250 miles away from Cincinnati, enjoy home field advantage. The show is not going to be on the field, it is going to be in the stands.

Though the local media in the Motor City is appealing for peaceful demonstrations, my gut tells me that something is going to happen. We are Detroit. We’re big, we’re bad, we have elevated the art of civil strife to an art form and we really don’t have a whole lot to lose. We say “Good Morning!” with a rape and a drive-by shooting. Our economy’s in the garbage, the city is in ruins, with the re-election of Kwame Kilpatrick there is no hope among the suburbanites attending the game that anything will get better and on top of that, our football team sucks. Not to mention, southeastern Michigan is just not known for its abundant supply of docile drunks. We have a tendency of drinking too much and doing things that just aren’t discussed in polite society. Hell, I’ve written an entire blog here based almost singularly on that one dominant trait.

Yes, I have this feeling that something is going to happen in Detroit today. What it is I don’t know but rest assured that I will be glued to my television watching for it and will report it to you as soon as it happens.

If I’m wrong and the protests end in peace and harmony, well I guess that I will just write you guys another epic poem about clogging up the toilet or something.


Anonymous LoB said...

Ah, Jep. Your writing is like a big soothing box of Ex-Lax pills, filling me with blissful relief. I will never forgive myself for having missed the Report's anniversary. Your writing remains brilliant as always, no matter how many rejection slips you may receive. Keep writing those bottles of ambrosia otherwise known as your posts, be the subject porcelain clogging, St. Nick hogging or even football slaughtering.

10:11 AM  
Blogger JEP said...

Hey LoB! Merry Christmas! Good to see you checking back in!

3:06 PM  

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