Once Monthly Column

Aaaaahhhhh, The JEP Report is languishing once again. It's been a month since my last update, and about a month since I've had time to write anything. So, what has happened in the last 32 days? Well, I've worked a hell of a lot. I've drank a hell of a little. I've chased kids and tried unsuccessfully to grow grass (I have managed to grow clover, dandelions and other weeds with spectacular success however). At the moment, I am also planning my bi-annual salmon fishing trip below is a picture of us who went in 2004, just before I created The JEP Report (I'm the one who got skunked):

So, what else has happened? Well, my wife informed me last week that I am about to become a father again for the fourth time! I have GOT to figure out where these things are coming from. A buddy of mine said I could find out rather easily on the internet how babies are made and after tons of research, I have deduced that the act of procreating has something to do with a couple of midgets, stilletto heels, bad music and livestock. Will keep you posted on my wife's growing psychosis over the next eight months.