Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Random Thoughts

I went into white collar work because I am essentially lazy and have an ingrained aversion to any sort of hard physical labor that does not result in a winning score, a twenty pound fish, a blood alcohol level of biblical proportions or involve spectacular amounts of gratuitous nudity. Yesterday, I experienced my first crisis at my new job though and ended up running all over the sprawling plant (in between verbal bludgeonings delivered by plant management with gleeful enthusiasm) and sorted parts in 90 degree heat for the better part of thirteen hours. By the end of the day, I was drenched in sweat and looked like a coal miner who had spent the day playing rugby in a Philippine garbage dump. My Right Guard had also taken a left turn, leaving me awash in a pungent aroma that I imagine would have been more appropriate to the aftermath of a catastrophic industrial accident at a sewage disposal facility than oozing from the pores of a tired engineer desperately trying to get back home before Monday Night Football started. Coming home smelling like decomposing road kill has its advantages however. Crossing the border was a breeze. Those Homeland Security guys may be fit enough to keep Kalishnikov carrying Quatari militants contained in Canada under normal circumstances, but if al-Qaeda ever decides to spread rancid Limburger cheese beneath their armpits, I have a feeling they’ll be waved right through.

I also got sympathy from my wife, who let me come in, take a shower and sit down to watch football relatively uninterrupted. Unfortunately, I fell asleep on the couch before kickoff.
Anyway, things appear to back to normal today aside from the fact that my back feels like I had spent the day getting worked over at the Arnold Schwarzenegger Center for the Chiropractic Arts. I have a feeling I’ll be calling it a day fairly early.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Jep,

If you decide you want to quit that job and get a new one, I could really use a pool boy.

The pay isn't the greatest, but the job comes with lots of fringe benefits.

(wink wink)


6:18 PM  
Blogger JEP said...

Sorry Cindy but I don't know anything about cleaning....oh wait a minute! I saw that movie! I'll be over as soon as I grab a pool skimmer, a Speedo and some whipped cream!

7:35 PM  

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