Equestrian Love Proves Fatal

It's not like I never heard of people so desperate they have to resort to molesting animals but I always thought that the creeps that did this stuff always gave instead of received. Apparently, I was mistaken. Oh well, someone this twisted deserves to have his eulogy given in the form of a classic JEP Report limerick:

A perverted Seattle-ite hick,

Sought equestrian love long and thick.

Once his lover was spied,

He bent over and died,

Impaled by Clydesdale-ian dick