Tuesday, May 17, 2005

42 Midgets Mauled by Lion in Cambodian Ring Fight

In the land of Pol Pot a fight was once arranged,
That some thought quite twisted and awfully deranged.
But a ring was reserved by a sprite Asian scion,
So forty two midgets could take on a lion.

The nation was awed by dwarven battle calls,
And thought that for shrimp, they had ginormous balls .
The world cried “FOUL” and decried it with rants,
But the fight still sold out several weeks in advance.

When the day then arrived, the arena was packed,
And all standards of decency finally cracked.
The midgets emerged to hard confetti rains,
They were dwarves high in courage, but a bit short on brains.

The cat was released, tearing into the ring,
The crowd then went crazy and started to sing,
The midgets, those proud gladiatorial elves,
Quaked, shaked and cowered, then shit on themselves.

They had thought that their victory was all but assured,
But once faced with the beast, found their thinking absurd.
They were awfully upset and despite the crowd’s jives,
Gave up the fight and then ran for their lives.

By that time though they knew it was really too late,
To escape the sheer terror that chased them with hate,
They ran to the front, turned then made for the back,
But just could not thwart this fierce feline attack.

The first dwarf was felled as he reached center stage,
A victim of sheer predatorial rage.
A paw to the groin made his vision go black,
As the claws of the lion ripped open his sack.

The crowd’s howls went silent, a hush fell so thick,
While weaker spectators got violently sick,
They expected to see some momentous sad spectacles,
But not torn-off dwarf scrotums or free flying testicles.

The silence was broke by a deafening roar,
And the lion took off on a quest for more gore.
The dwarves tried flee but did not stand a chance,
And their running look more like an end-of-life prance.

The beast ran them down, took them out one-by-one,
The midgets now thinking this feat less than fun.
Heads, hearts, feet and torsos, arms, legs, guts and hands,
Flew off the field and ended up in the stands.

When it was over, the midgets were mourned,
And the stadium was left quite grotesquely adorned.
The spectators fled once the midgets were killed,
The lion passed out once his stomach was filled.

The legend of this quite fantastic event,
Then spread fast like fire ‘cross the whole internet.
It launched a sensation like these things often do,
When they’re written so well, and completely untrue.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

it is true dude


1:56 PM  
Blogger JEP said...

Oh young naive one, I so wish it were, but tragically it is not:


4:09 PM  

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